Well I am a go getter. If I want something I go for it with all my heart. My desire growing up was to be a school teacher and see the world. My other desire was Billy Ray Compton. (Sighs) I hated when my wander lust got to me and I left Big Sky leaving Billy Ray in the rear view mirror. I'd cry for days then shake it off and hold off the tears as best as I could. I've been to third world countries and taught children. I've been almost all around the world teaching.

Giving myself to others to give them a better world. There are probably a few places left that I haven't been, but I can't do it anymore. I miss my sister and her babies. Even that big lug of a husband of hers and his extended family. Which includes Billy Ray his little brother. I love Billy Ray with every fiber of my being, and it's time I stopped breaking my own heart and his. I loved every minute of what I did. Helping others and teaching them. It's time for me to do something for myself now. I want to be selfish for a change. Something I have never been in my life.

I had a happy childhood in Big Sky, Montana. I always felt like there was more out there though. I wanted to see the world. I wanted more. I had everything I needed though. Grandparents on both sides, my parents, and my sister Colby Rae. I also had my best friend as a kid and then boyfriend once we hit puberty and that was Billy Ray Compton. I should have been content, but I wasn't. I went off to college in the big city with all intentions of coming back to Big Sky and settling down with Billy Ray and having children as well as teaching.

My dad was a member of the Wild Wolves MC so like my friends I got a mini bike when I turned four. Mom didn't like it, but I loved it. Zooming around the ranch on it was a blast! I couldn't wait to graduate up to a dirt bike though like Colby Rae. The time came all too soon though, and I was eating up the dirt track at the Deveraux's with my sister and friends. Getting to start Motocross was like a dream come true, as I had been jealous sitting on the sides and watching Colby Rae before.

When I hit junior high school I gotta go out for sports. Had to watch though so they didn't interfere with 4-H and Motocross. In the end I loved Basketball and Softball sticking with them all the way through high school. I was pretty good at both of them, but definitely not as a career. My heart was set on teaching one day. Both of my grandmothers, and my mother had been teachers. Growing up that way I felt it calling to me in my blood.

I had graduated with honors from Big Sky high School. I got scholarships to University earning them. My parents didn't have to end up spending much on my college education. I was off to New Haven, Connecticut to attend Yale. I was only back for holidays and the funerals one by one of my grandparents. I'd stay a few days and then head back. Billy Ray he visited a few times, but the big city life wasn't for him. Unfortunately I loved the big city life. I made friends for a lifetime in the sorority that I had been accepted to my freshman year of college.

One trip home was for Bobby Joe and Colby Rae's wedding. I was the made of honor and of course Billy Ray was the Best man. That was one day and Night I will always cherish! Leaving Billy Ray yet again though was breaking my heart more and more. We danced the night away together, and then we hit the hayloft having a lot more fun. Waking up to the rays of sunshine through the loft door. It wasn't the first time it happened, and wouldn't be the last. It was our favorite place. The place we'd lost our innocence to one another when we were sixteen.

Right before graduating from University I got the opportunity to go to different parts of the world teaching. This was my dream that I had put on the backburner wanting more than anything to go back to Big Sky and marry Billy Ray. I talked to my parents about it and Colby Ray. She was the one person who knew what it was like to love a Compton boy. It was coming up on the deadline to give my decision and I made a trip home to talk to Billy Ray. I told him I had to do this or I would regret it. I left crying all the way back. I was surprised he came with his family and mine to my graduation. I got up and gave my valedictorian speech having graduated the top of my class again.

I said my goodbyes a few hours later to my family and the Compton's. I was leaving within the hour that day to head to South Africa. My heart was breaking having said goodbye to all of them. It was hard with the time zones and schedules to be able to call home. It was a couple of years later that I got a call from Bobby Joe. My heart skipped a beat when it was him calling. I thought something had happened to Colby Rae till I heard her sobbing in the background. At first I thought it was the connection till I could tell it was her heartbreaking sobs. Our parents had been killed in a home invasion. Rumor was it was club related to the Wild Wolves that the Compton boys both belonged to. In the long run come to find out my dad owed someone a lot of money and they had come to collect taking valuables and killing my parents.

I rushed home getting a leave after breaking down. It was Billy Ray who met me at the airport and held me as I sobbed in his arms. I was barely aware of getting my suitcase and heading out. I was a bit surprised when he got in the backseat with me till someone said Hello Darling. It was Zeke and he was driving so Billy Ray could hold me. Zeke is Billy Ray's brother in law who was married to their sister Martina. It brought me back remembering when Billy Ray's parents had been killed and I had rushed home for him then. We had both lost our parents tragically now. I spent a month at home that time grieving for my parents. Somehow and I didn't ask the Wild Wolves had gotten the valuables back that had been stolen. Colby Rae and I had to take care of everything, and the guys were right there helping us along with Martina.

I had to go again when my leave was up. I hated leaving this time more than ever. Saying goodbye was getting harder and harder. The next time I was able to get home was to Cord Lane's wife's funeral. The next one was Martina's who had been like another sister to me. I hated that it was only funerals that were bringing me back.

When thirty-one hit I knew it was time to go home. Home was where Colby Rae was. Hell it was where Billy Ray was. I was feeling an excitement as I rode the leg of my trip. I wasn't for sure if it was the rolling thunder between my legs or knowing I was getting closer to him. I planned on surprising all of them. It had been way too long since I had been home to see my nephew and niece too. When I was there Trigger and I had bonded. He was always getting a hold of his mom's phone when she'd put it down and trying to facetime me said Iza!

First person I ran into had to be Billy Ray! My stomach did flip flops and my heart was pounding. Our hug was short lived though as someone was pushing themselves between our legs. I had looked down to our nephew Trigger who was holding his arms up to me and saying Iza! I was home and it felt like home! Bobby Joe came looking for Trigger, and told us to find a room and get the fireworks taken care of. First I had to see my sister, and then the fireworks could happen. I had to head back to Pasadena to finish up the summer session and pack. I had lived my dream and it was time to start a dream that would make me whole. In a couple of weeks I will have my stuff shipped up to Big Sky, and be heading back to my one true love and my family!