I can be outgoing when I want to be and lazy at other times. I grew up a tomboy playing in the dirt and climbing trees. My hair was usually a rats nest cause I hated taking time to brush it as long as it is. I love riding my horse and helping out around the ranch. I'm not afraid to get down and dirty. I'm a good singer and love to sing and play the guitar. I'm pretty much fearless until it comes to snakes.

[smear:#19d9e6]Positive Traits:[/smear:#e619bb:0]
1)Courageous: Possessing the mental or moral resilience to face opposition, danger, or difficulties despite one's fear.
2)Honest: Honorable in intentions; straightforward in conduct.
3)Unselfish: Thinking of others and acting on their behalf rather than being concerned with oneself.
4)Private: Having strong personal boundaries; preferring to keep one's affairs to oneself.
5)Honorable: Characterized by noble principles; displaying integrity.
6)Passionate: Being capable of or expressing deep feeling.

[smear:#e619bb]Negative Traits:[/smear:#19d9e6:0]
1)Pessimistic: Inclined to focus on the negative and expect the worst possible outcome.
2)Withdrawn: Low self-esteem, Shyness, Past or present abuse.
3)Gullible: Easily misled or duped.
4)Perfectionist: Perceiving anything less than perfection as failure.
5)Temperamental: Marked by unpredictable changes in mood.
6)Evasive: Having an unforthcoming manner; avoiding self-revelation.

Well I was born sixteen years ago in Big Sky, Montana to parents I don't even remember. Bobby Joe had taken me to the clubhouse with him, and they had gone grocery shopping. It was the wrong time for them to be there when a mass shooter entered the store and started shooting people. I heard from the stories I was told that dad tried to protect mom, and he was taken down first then she was shot after dropping down beside him. All of it had been caught on the surveillance system. Zeke, Martina, and my older brothers had watched wanting to know what all really happened. I was only four at the time.

Martina was already married to her high school sweetheart Zeke Shepard. I was that surprise baby so my sister and brothers were quite a bit older than me. Martina was twenty-seven and already had Grayson and Cindie. They were five and four. Bobby Joe was twenty-four and Billy Ray was twenty-one when mom and dad were killed. They were all legally my guardians in my parents will. My brothers and brother in law Zeke were already in the Wild Wolves MC. We all lived in the same house and Grayson, Cindie and I practically grew up at the clubhouse with my sister working. Unfortunately a few years ago Martina went to the hospital to have a simple procedure done. I don't even know what it was for sure, but she didn't survive having an allergic reaction to something. So after that it was Zeke and my brothers raising the three of us.

My brothers had gotten me a mini bike when I was four, and when I rode it I felt like dad was right there with me. Like when he'd give me rides on his Harley. I rode all over the ranch on it along with Grayson and Cindie. Living on the ranch we had a lot of things to do and see. Most of the time though we were just on our bikes or riding horses. I was envious of Gray and Cindie when they got their dirt bikes. I hated being the last to get to do anything. When my sixth birthday rolled around everyone seemed to forget about it. Well it was the dead of winter. Being only six I didn't even realize anyone had forgotten about it. Even at school with it being Valentine's day it had been overlooked.

When summer rolled around Cindie got a new dirt bike, and I was given her old one to learn on. I was definitely jealous about that. Especially when the chain came off the bike in the middle of a race that summer in Motocross. My bike went one way, and me the other. Ended up with a concussion and broken arm. I wasn't allowed to ride the rest of the summer which I hated. When my seventh birthday rolled around it was forgotten again. I was on a used Dirt bike again that summer. I didn't understand why I couldn't have a new one like Gray and Cindie usually did. To me it wasn't fair. Other holidays weren't so bad I didn't think.

When my eighth birthday rolled around I was surprised when the teacher told me Happy Birthday that morning. When I questioned her about it she asked me some questions frowning. During recess I noticed our teacher wasn't around. It was about an hour later when we were starting Math that there was a knock on the door and it was the principal. I was called out of class, and Bobby Joe and Billy Ray were in the office already waiting on me. I was confused having no idea what was going on. The guidance councilor and a social worker was there too. I was suddenly scared I was about to be taken away from my brothers. Tears welled up in my eyes that a flood of them seemed to be released.

The others got up leaving me alone with my brothers then, and Bobby Joe got up pulling me into his arms hugging me saying everything was alright. That they were the ones who had screwed up. Forgetting my birthdays, and letting things slide. They were still trying to get the hang of raising me, and that things were going to get better. Billy Ray gave me a hug too and apologized. When the meeting was over with the others I got to go home with my brothers. They took me to my favorite pizza place though and we had pizza for lunch. Afterwards they took me to the mall where they let me pick out some things for my birthday.

When we got home instead of going up to the house they took me out to the big barn, and I figured they had some chores to get done. When we walked in though I gasped jumping when people jumped out yelling Surprise! Happy Birthday! I hid a little behind my brothers more than surprised. I wasn't one to usually be the center of attention either. It was like all of the Wild Wolves and their families were there. Zeke got the attention on him, and got some music started up taking the attention totally off of me. Then he came walking over and gave me a hug telling me Happy Birthday. Colby Rae was there too and giving me a hug.

I enjoyed the rest of the day with all of my friends and family there celebrating with me. I got lots of presents. New Motocross gear, and from my brothers and Zeke a brand new dirt bike. It was perfect, and I took it for a spin around the indoor arena loving it! For the first time I wasn't the one on the outside feeling left out and being ignored. We played games and had a BBQ and had a lot of fun that night. I was tired when the crowd was dwindling. I don't even know for sure how I got to my own bed as I must have fallen asleep out in the barn.

Time went on and things did get better. The only mother figure I really had after Martina died was Colby Rae. She was great especially when I got my first period. Definitely not something I wanted to talk to my brothers or Zeke about. She'd been there for Cindie too. Colby Rae was the one who took me to get my first bra. Her announcing that day made me turn bright red as my brothers and Zeke as well as Gray fled to the barns. That whole day was embarrassing. Especially when I finally wore it, and my brothers and Zeke were avoiding me. Maybe it was just me I don't really know.

When I got into junior high I tried out for different sports and found I liked Volleyball, Basketball and Softball. It was that year that my nephew Trigger was born making me an aunt again. I was still doing Motocross and active in 4-H. FFA got added to my agenda when high school hit. I realized I could sing to, and was asked to do solos. I even entered a competition my sophomore year. The winner got to sing on a float during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. To my surprise I won the competition. Our family, the Lanes, Moore's, James's and a couple of other families made the trip to New York City. Even Colby Rae's sister Liza Jo joined us. Which made my older brother Billy Ray really enjoy the few days in New York City that we were there.

That was fun riding a float and singing the way down the route. My family and friends that came with me got to ride on the float too. Getting off the float I was almost kidnapped. I was grabbed and someone started to drag me away into the crowd. I screamed and fought against them. Something was shoved against my mouth, and it smelled horrible. I passed out. When I came to Billy Ray had me in his arms and they were fighting to get through the crowd. They took me to the hospital to get checked out, but I was fine. I had been chloroformed, but the guys had gotten there before I was about to be put into the back of a van. Well the trip had been fun till it ended in a terror filled night.

I had nightmares after that waking up screaming. I was probably driving my family crazy, and things seemed to be in a state of upheaval in our home. My brothers seemed to be on edge as well as Zeke. Christmas wasn't as joyous as it usually was, and it was right after New Years that eight members of the MC charter were killed in an avalanche. Time moved on slowly. As my birthday approached anticipation of getting my first Harley was starting to well up in me. All of my friends were getting their first Harley's on their sixteenth birthday. I figured my family would take me to get mine on my birthday just like with Cindie the year before, and Gray the year before that.

The morning of my birthday I was up bright and early. Got my chores done, and had breakfast with my family. Usually there was a special breakfast when someone had a birthday, but everything seemed normal as usual. Nobody had even wished me a Happy Birthday. School seemed to be in slow motion almost stalled that day. When the final bell rang I let out a sigh of relief and rushed out of class. I was stopped by my music teacher and she kept me for a bit. Grey wasn't happy about being kept waiting. As soon as we got home he left to head over to the Lanes. Cindie disappeared as usual. Supper that night was subdued and I kept waiting for someone to tell me Happy Birthday. No one ever did. Everyone was on edge it seemed more than before.

Of course I didn't say a word. All through the evening I was on the verge of tears and finally went to my room. I got ready for bed, and cried myself to sleep wondering how they could have forgotten about my birthday after they'd promised to never forget it again on my eighth birthday. Guess promises were meant to be broken. I woke up to my screaming that night as my nightmares hit me tenfold again. Zeke was the one who came to my room a big grumpy, but got me calmed down. My brothers never showed up like they used to. Time still moved slowly after that. It hurt watching my friends celebrating their sixteenth birthdays, and mine having been forgotten. Them talking happily away about the Harley's they had got to pick out. There were a lot of nights I cried myself to sleep.

A couple of weeks later I asked Bobby Joe when I was going to get to go pick out a Harley. He bit my head off calling me selfish. Colby Rae was on bedrest as she was about due with their second child. He said I'd have to wait for my birthday anyhow. If I was good I might get one. I stared at him in horror for a moment as he kept on going. Everything he was saying hurt me to the core. I burst into tears, and ran from the room. Outside into the biting cold air not even thinking about grabbing a coat. Billy Ray was usually off sulking anymore as he missed Liza Jo. Zeke had his own kids to worry about. My brothers it felt like didn't care about me anymore at all. I was almost to the barns when I hit a patch of ice and went sprawling. Hitting my head hard on something and knocking myself out.

When I came too I was still laying there on the ground. As I became aware I realized how cold I was. I was hurting everywhere. My head was pounding in pain. Lifting my hand up I touched my head and when I looked at my hand it was covered in blood. Pushing myself up which wasn't easy to do I saw the puddle of blood there. I tried to get up, but I was too dizzy. I crawled the rest of the way to the barn. Able to pull myself up there, and I got into the barn which was heated for the horses. I took a couple of steps and the dizziness struck. I found myself on the floor with the world spinning around me.

I must have passed out again because when I woke up I was in the emergency room at the hospital. It had been one of the hired hands who had found me in a puddle of blood as my head wound was still bleeding after making it into the barn. I didn't find out till later from Zeke that Bobby Joe had been about to come after me when Colby Rae had gone into labor. I was forgotten as usual as they all got her to the hospital. My whole family there, but for me. When my brothers did try to see me after I was admitted I refused to see them. Yelling at them to get out. I did find out I had a new niece named Ember from Zeke who I wasn't talking to, but I hadn't kicked him out.

I didn't speak for two days, and the first thing I asked Zeke was if my brothers didn't want me anymore than why was I still here? He shook his head at me telling me that they did want me. It was like I exploded and everything came bursting out, and he looked like he was in pain realizing that they had forgotten about my birthday. A special one at that with it being my sweet sixteen. As I laid there sobbing he got up from his chair and climbed up on the bed pulling me into his arms letting me sob into him. I don't know how long he let me be just rubbing my back, and murmuring that things were going to be alright. When I looked up at him I saw he was crying too. My head was hurting again, and when I told him he called the nurses who gave me something for the pain. It wasn't long before I was asleep.

The next day I was bored out of my mind. When the door opened and Bobby Joe walked in I about yelled at him to get out not ready to see him just yet. What he was carrying in his arms though stopped me. Zeke got up and left the room shutting the door behind him. I was crying by the time my brother got to me, and he laid the baby in his arms in mine. He said her name was Ember Marie, and that he and Colby Rae wanted me to be her godmother. I was crying as I held that precious baby to me. He apologized to me saying that he didn't mean a word he had said the other night. Somehow during that time Billy Ray had joined us. I hadn't even heard the door open. The three of us talked for what seemed like hours getting everything out in the open. Bobby Joe had ducked out only when Ember started crying to take her back to Colby Rae. When he got back we all three worked out what was going on between us.

The day after I got out of the hospital the whole family took me to pick out my Harley. Even my niece and goddaughter Ember who was barely a few days old. It took me a while to find the one I wanted, and I was starting to get a headache by then. Going down another section I saw it. It was pearly white, and I headed straight for it. Sitting on it I saw stars, but ignored that as I got the feel of it. "This is the one!" I said. Zeke's eyebrows shot up. "That bike is going to get dirty pretty fast." He commented. I really didn't care as I would wash it if it did. "This is the one I want!" I said again without any doubt. So that was the one I got. I was a bit wobbly when I got off of the bike, but Billy Ray steadied me asking me if I was alright. It took a few moments, but I nodded. Still he and Bobby Joe kept an eye on me as we left. The bike was loaded up on a trailer, and I would get to ride it when I got home in the indoor arena.

We went out for pizza to my favorite place, and then headed home. Unfortunately I fell asleep on the way home so I didn't get to ride till the next day. When I finally got the chance I more than loved my new Harley. I couldn't wait till the snow melted, and my brothers and Zeke let me ride it out on the open road. Finally that time came, and it was more than I had dreamed it would be. I got to ride it back and forth from school the last few weeks.

The summer came, and I was back in Motocross and playing Softball in the summer program. A few weeks into the summer my friend Jace's family was in a horrible accident. He and one of his sister's bikes were clipped by a drunk driver and were hurt. Their mother was hit head on and taken over the Gallatin Bridge into the white water rapids. The summer is over, and she was never found. Starting school this year it was awesome getting to ride my bike to school. The snow would be flying soon though, and I wasn't ready for it. Jace wasn't himself, and I didn't blame him. Neither were some of my other friends. All I could do was be there for them though. Time unfortunately goes on after you lose someone, but that pain lingers forever.